Joke my Brother told me... it made me laugh

An American doctor, an English doctor and an Irish doctor are sitting in a bar.

The American doctor, showing off, says
"We are so medically advanced in America that we took the heart our of a thirty year old man, put it in a 70 year old man and two months later he was out looking for a job."

The English doctor, not to be outdone, says
"That's nothing, in England we took the brain out of a 25 year old man, out it into a 75 year old man and one month later he was out looking for a job."

The Irish doctor laughed and said,
"You think that's impressive? In Ireland we took an arsehole out of Offaly, put him in Dáil Éireann and two weeks later half the country was out looking for a job."

Irish Prayer

Our Taoiseach,
who art in Dail Eireann,
what on Earth's thy game?
Thy taxes come,
our economy's done,
from Cork to Sligo to Dublin.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our mortgages,
as you forgave banks who trespassed against us.
Lead us not into depression,
but deliver us from bankruptcy.
Amen.

Speaking with a purpose

'Speaking with a purpose' came up as a feed on my RSS on the Dawkins website, http://richarddawkins.net/article,3629,n,n

Strangley enough, in my slightly hung over brain I read this as 'Speaking with a porpoise'... which would be a very different article altogether.

Slightly dissappointed to tell the truth, but it is still worth a read, despite the absence of small cetaceans.

Clarkson's comments cause more offence

The United Kingdom’s Association of idiots have reacted angrily to recent comments made by Jeremy Clarkson. Clarkson reportedly called Gordon Brown a ‘one-eyed Scottish idiot’ while speaking at a press conference in Australia.
Idiot spokesperson, John Smith, spoke to press today about the Top Gear presenters comments.

“The Idiot association is shocked and angered by Mr. Clarkson’s comments. It is difficult for Idiots to be taken seriously in our society and we vehemently oppose any comparison to Gordon Brown. While several members of our association are well known politicians Gordon Brown is not, nor never has been a member. We feel that the standards by which membership is permitted have been brought into disrepute by Mr. Clarkson.
The Idiots Association (IA) would be happy to meet with Mr. Clarkson to demonstrate the very real contribution that Idiots can make to society, and perhaps help him to garner a fuller understanding of the distress his comments have caused.’

I present to you... the shewee

The shewee, its exactly what it sounds like, classy!!

(that said I am watching Top Gear and need to wee so will miss some... if I had a shewee it wouldn't be a problem...)

When I die...

This is such a very odd idea... and yet strangely appealing....

http://www.lifegem.com/

Em... it was a RADIO show...

TV actor John Barrowman exposing himself during a live radio show "overstepped the mark", the BBC has admitted.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/John-Barrowman-TV-Star-Exposed-Himself-On-Live-Radio-Show---BBC-Sorry/Article/200812115169831?lpos=UK_News_Second_Home_Page_Strap_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_ID15169831_John_Barrowman%3A_TV_Star_Exposed_Himself_On_Live_Radio_Show_-_BBC_Sorry

Who thinks these things up! Made me laugh...

Christian group halts book launch

A poet has been forced to launch his new collection in the street after a bookstore cancelled the event because of a campaign by Christian activists. Patrick Jones was due to sign copies at Waterstone's in Cardiff but the shop cancelled the event at the last moment. Christian Voice said the book was "obscene and blasphemous" and called on the chain to remove copies from stores. The company said it was not a censor but felt it was "prudent" to cancel the event because of its duty to customers. Darkness is Where the Stars Are is a collection of 30 to 40 poems from the Welsh publishers, Cinnamon Press. Mr Jones, the brother of Nicky Wire of the Manic Street Preachers, had been expecting to launch the book at the Cardiff Hayes branch of Waterstone's on Wednesday night. But a few hours before, the poet from Blackwood in Caerphilly county, was contacted by the company to tell him the event had been cancelled "to avoid potential disruption to our store". Mr Jones said he was not going to be "beaten down" by religious activists, and signed copies for a small group of people in the street. "I'm really proud of this book and I'm really sickened. "There shouldn't be censorship of this sort - it doesn't set out to be offensive."

He said he had not singled out Christianity in his poems, but was questioning beliefs in society. The national director of Christian Voice, Stephen Green, said the decision was a triumph "for the Lord, not for us". "The Lord had not even showed me what we should do at Waterstone's, only that it should be Christlike. "Just the knowledge that we were on our way has put the fear of God into the opposition." Mr Green also called for Waterstone's to stop selling the book. Will Garland, 28, from Newport, one of the people who went to the out-of-store book signing, said he had been a fan of Mr Jones for a long time. "I don't know what they're protesting about. "Give the guy a chance," he said. Cheryl Llewellyn, of St Mellons in Cardiff, did not know the launch had been cancelled until she arrived at the store. "If they want to protest they're quite entitled to protest outside and let his reading go ahead inside." Siân Preece, a writer from Cardiff said Waterstone's had failed to support freedom of expression. "You hear of countries like Turkey or China oppressing writers and you feel sorry for them. "And then you're surprised to find it happening here," she said. A spokesman for Waterstone's confirmed the event had been cancelled. "The book remains available through Waterstone's and we are very happy for that to be the case. "However we have a duty to our customers and booksellers regarding events that we organise, and we felt it prudent in this case. "We don't act as a censor, we stock books in the tens of thousands and would only remove them from sale on the advice of the publisher."

From: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7725790.stm

I don't know about anyone else but I'll have 100 copies please...

Mother protests at theatre hanging scene

I recently went to see Magic Macabre in the Olympia theatre in Dublin, (which was a great show) and then went away on holidays so missed all the furore that followed. Basically one of the tricks in the show involved the magician being apparently hung by the neck from the top of the theatre, prompting protests outside, firstly by one mother who was then joined by others who felt that this made light of suicide and could negatively influence teenagers. Firstly (and perhaps unimportantly if all you want to do is complain about something) this wasn’t a suicide, it was an execution scene, but no matter my real issue is the need people have to protest about these things.

I spoke to a friend who had gone along to protest (she hadn’t seen the show and I would also like to point out didn’t attend any of the protests about the unfairness of taking medical cards from over 70’s in the recent budget, or the reintroduction of 3rd level fees). I asked her why she was offended; she muttered something about disrespect and making light of peoples grief, pointing out that if I a history of suicide in my family I would understand and would have been offended also. Well as it happens I have and I wasn’t.

I get incredibly frustrated by this need people have to get into a lather about ‘issues’ such as these, protest is a powerful tool and should be used to full effect to address what really matters, and not to air unsubstantiated grievances with little or no concern for the reality of the situation.
Perhaps we should organise and have a protest about the protestors? How about next Friday, we can have it in my house. Bring a bottle of wine and your family and we will vent our frustration by beating the children.

(I'll give ya something to protest about!)